When you talk about how to have anal sex, there are probable some of the things you hear:

“How long have humans been trying to cut corners?”

“Cutting corners? They must be gay!”

“Cutting corners! That’s so dirty!”

Regarding anal sex, it seems to be a topic that many are curious about but find hard to discuss.

You might find this method of lovemaking intriguing yet challenging. Well, you’re in luck today, because, driven by the same curiosity, I’ve thoroughly researched everything there is to know about how to have anal sex:

The earliest records of anal sex can be traced back to Europe, from Greek pottery paintings around 500 BC to Peruvian pottery around the year 300. In modern times, these scenes are ubiquitous in pornographic publications, videos, and even online memes.

People’s acceptance of anal sex has been gradually increasing. However, many still hold curiosities, concerns, and misconceptions about it.

Pleasure Sources

Some might think it equates intimacy among gay men, but that’s not the case. Anal sex is merely a personal sexual preference and choice, widely present in various intimate relationships and masturbation practices, and it does not indicate specific sexual orientations.

Furthermore, anal sex represents a gender-neutral way of making love, as everyone has an anus. In this regard, everyone is equal.

From a physiological perspective, the person being penetrated often experiences more intense pleasure, while psychologically, both the penetrator and the person being penetrated can enjoy the act.

Skin Sensitivity

Starting with the caressing of the anus, the person being penetrated might already feel unusual and subtle sensations. This is because the skin around the anus is extremely sensitive, with many nerve endings similar to those behind our ears and on the backs of our hands.

Prostate Stimulation

For many people with male physiology, stimulation of the prostate during penetration can provide sexual pleasure.

As described in “The Hite Report on Male Sexuality,” when a partner’s movements stimulate a man’s prostate, it can be intoxicating. Locating the prostate is quite simple. You can insert a clean, trimmed fingernail about 4-5 cm into the anus, slowly exploring the belly side. If you feel a firmer area than the rest, you’ve found the prostate.

Proper massage of the prostate can result in sexual pleasure and the release of prostate fluid through the urethra at the tip of the penis.

Psychological Fulfillment

For male penetrators, the feeling of their penis being warmly and tightly enveloped by the internal and external anal sphincters can provide a sense of intimacy and security.

Some also enjoy the feeling of fullness and occupation, a psychological satisfaction similar to filling or occupying a space. For some, the act of envelopment by the anal sphincters itself is part of the comfort, pleasure, and sexual stimulation.

For women, taking the penetrating role can give a sense of empowerment, which might also highlight potential conceptual differences and underlying inequalities in sexual relationships.

Although this can be very pleasurable and stimulating, venturing into how to have anal sex still presents many unnoticed knowledge gaps and misconceptions.

Debunking Myths About Anal Sex

1. Myth: Anal sex is a viable contraceptive method.
   • Truth: Anal sex is not an effective contraceptive measure because semen can still accidentally reach the vaginal opening and lead to pregnancy, known as “splash pregnancy.”
2. Myth: Pain is normal, just endure it.
   • Truth: Pain is not normal. If it hurts, it could be a sign of damage to the anal sphincters or rectum, a serious call for help from your body. If there’s unbearable pain, stop immediately and explore reasons and safer methods with your partner.
3. Myth: Anal sex is dirty because it’s where you excrete.
   • Truth: Anal sex isn’t necessarily dirty. The rectum, which is usually where penetration occurs, is relatively clean if the individual has defecated beforehand and maintains good hygiene.
     
4. Myth: Enemas are a necessary part of preparing for anal sex.
   • Truth: Enemas are not required for anal sex and frequent enemas are not medically recommended as they can interfere with natural bowel function and potentially damage rectal tissues.

Safe Guidance on How to Have Anal Sex

Understanding these considerations, adventurous couples might be ready to try. Here’s a guide on how to have anal sex (from start to finish) for a safe and pleasurable experience:

Essentials

Use a condom appropriate for anal sex and lubricant, as the rectum does not naturally lubricate like the vagina does. This is crucial to prevent pain and injury.

Lubricate: Ensure adequate lubrication throughout the act to prevent discomfort and injuries.

Exploration Tips

Start with fingers or small toys to gauge comfort and reaction. Ensure cleanliness and smoothness to avoid any damage.

Hygiene Guide

Clean thoroughly: Post-activity hygiene is crucial to prevent infections.

Keep toys used for anal and vaginal penetration separate to avoid transferring bacteria between the two. If you wish to switch between the two, ensure that both your partner’s genitals and any toys used are thoroughly cleaned.

Comfortable Positions

Experiment with different positions: kneeling or standing doggy style: this is the most common position, but there are other options such as side-lying entry, switching positions, or anal fingering. These methods can also stimulate multiple sensitive spots and are suitable for any intimate relationship.

Remember, no matter how many sexual methods and positions there are, the sweetest approach is the one you and your partner explore together and find comfortable.

Bottom Line

Anal sex is safe, as long as you are well prepared. By fully understanding and respecting each other’s desires, boundaries, and comfort levels, and equally respecting each other’s consent and refusals, not only can you fully enjoy sex, but you can also ensure that your intimate relationship remains fulfilling and healthy.

So, if your partner expresses reluctance towards anal sex, it is completely normal. Regardless of their reasons, we have no right to coerce or persuade someone to try a sexual practice they are uncomfortable with.